Have you had a family member leave home for school, work, or other life event? It can be hard. It is our prayer that it helps you know you're not alone.
Take a look at some advice from someone who's been there. Read Heidi's reflections...
I’ve been thinking about it, and here are a few thoughts, after going through it with my two kids. Our son moved to LA (Calif) for a couple years after college, and that was a similar experience (as a parent) — also hard at first. (He’s back in the Cities now, but I remember those days like it was yesterday)
1) Know that saying bye and the first few weeks are going to be hard. Plain and simple. But it will get better, it really will. Super helpful if you have a friend/neighbor that you can talk to who is going through the same situation/separation. I have to say, once I got used to them being away, it was so exciting and rewarding to listen to them talk about all of their new experiences on the phone! I just loved it :):)
2) If you have a smart phone, and if you aren’t good at using it, learn how to text and Skype and Facetime. :) Especially Skype and Facetime were wonderful when you want to see their face…..and you can communicate a lot better that way, or by talking on the phone, rather than texting. I got more than one message completely wrong because of how I took their text! Talking and seeing their face made a big difference in feeling like I knew how they were doing.
3) Set up a time with your son/daughter when you are going to communicate, and how. It wasn’t well received when I “surprised” them with a call….it usually ended up being a bad time, or they were busy, or just didn’t feel like talking…. If you know ahead of time you are going to talk every Sunday night, or whatever you decide, it will be better for both parent and kid/young adult!
4) Be ready for when they have a bad day. We all have bad days…..but for some reason, my mind worked overtime with worry whenever they were upset about anything. Keep in mind that even if there are tears, chances are quite high that as soon as they hang up with you, they find a friend to hang out with….and all is well. And they are busy having fun, and you are busy worrying about them…. haha (obviously, every young person is different….and you know yours best…..that was just my experience)
5) Be ready for when they announce that they are sure they are getting a D on an important test, and then they forget to tell you later that actually, it was a B+ , and they might even get an A- for the semester…. :) If you really get the feeling that they truly are struggling, help navigate the process to follow to get help…..office hours for the professor, looking into a tutor, etc etc
6) Encourage your son/daughter to get involved in a group/club/activity of some kind on campus (or in a new city if they are moving for a job). It’s so helpful if they can meet people who have similar interests. Our daughter was great at this, our son wasn’t. And it made a big difference for our daughter….she made friends quickly and seemed to feel at home, even in a large university. Our son went to a smaller school, and he had a harder time because he didn’t get involved right away.
Well, not sure if that will be anything new for anyone. But it was my experience. :) Thanks for thinking of this group. It is a challenging time for kids, and just as challenging sometimes for parents!
Take a look at some advice from someone who's been there. Read Heidi's reflections...
I’ve been thinking about it, and here are a few thoughts, after going through it with my two kids. Our son moved to LA (Calif) for a couple years after college, and that was a similar experience (as a parent) — also hard at first. (He’s back in the Cities now, but I remember those days like it was yesterday)
1) Know that saying bye and the first few weeks are going to be hard. Plain and simple. But it will get better, it really will. Super helpful if you have a friend/neighbor that you can talk to who is going through the same situation/separation. I have to say, once I got used to them being away, it was so exciting and rewarding to listen to them talk about all of their new experiences on the phone! I just loved it :):)
2) If you have a smart phone, and if you aren’t good at using it, learn how to text and Skype and Facetime. :) Especially Skype and Facetime were wonderful when you want to see their face…..and you can communicate a lot better that way, or by talking on the phone, rather than texting. I got more than one message completely wrong because of how I took their text! Talking and seeing their face made a big difference in feeling like I knew how they were doing.
3) Set up a time with your son/daughter when you are going to communicate, and how. It wasn’t well received when I “surprised” them with a call….it usually ended up being a bad time, or they were busy, or just didn’t feel like talking…. If you know ahead of time you are going to talk every Sunday night, or whatever you decide, it will be better for both parent and kid/young adult!
4) Be ready for when they have a bad day. We all have bad days…..but for some reason, my mind worked overtime with worry whenever they were upset about anything. Keep in mind that even if there are tears, chances are quite high that as soon as they hang up with you, they find a friend to hang out with….and all is well. And they are busy having fun, and you are busy worrying about them…. haha (obviously, every young person is different….and you know yours best…..that was just my experience)
5) Be ready for when they announce that they are sure they are getting a D on an important test, and then they forget to tell you later that actually, it was a B+ , and they might even get an A- for the semester…. :) If you really get the feeling that they truly are struggling, help navigate the process to follow to get help…..office hours for the professor, looking into a tutor, etc etc
6) Encourage your son/daughter to get involved in a group/club/activity of some kind on campus (or in a new city if they are moving for a job). It’s so helpful if they can meet people who have similar interests. Our daughter was great at this, our son wasn’t. And it made a big difference for our daughter….she made friends quickly and seemed to feel at home, even in a large university. Our son went to a smaller school, and he had a harder time because he didn’t get involved right away.
Well, not sure if that will be anything new for anyone. But it was my experience. :) Thanks for thinking of this group. It is a challenging time for kids, and just as challenging sometimes for parents!
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